It is often said that a new year is the time for a new beginning.
That beginning may be with a new job, a relationship, a different house or just a more peaceful and less stressful life. “Easier said than done” you may say.
For most people, a new year can be the time to think about what we want and need from life and what more we can give. Nowhere is this more important than in our relationships.
Most people, if they are honest, will recognise what is good about what they have in their partner, their children, their work, their lives and what can and should be changed. It is not negative to accept that there may be a better way of living. It is positive to think about if there is something that is so worrying you that you find yourself worrying about it most of the time.
Perhaps one of the greatest threats to relationships is getting out of the habit of just “being” with the other person, be they your partner, your children, your mother or anyone else who is important to you. The great enemy is the apparent lack of time: there is never enough of it and we feel stretched. We end up being dissatisfied because we feel that we have done little in the way we want to. If relationships are to be successful, they need constant time and attention.
We need to ask questions of ourselves such as “Why are my children badly behaved or upset? Do I spend enough time with them and do I talk to them? Do I make time for my partner? Do I take care of my health? There are many similar problems which can become overwhelming if not addressed.
The next question is, of course, “What can I do about it?”
It is easy to say but the truth is that the best person to fix any of these problems is ourself. We can only begin the process of making things better by working out what is really wrong. We can face these and similar problems ourselves or we can seek help from a trusted friend or, say, an expert in counselling. There is help out there and there is no shame in seeking it out. If we feel really unwell, we go to the doctor: if the car breaks down, we have to take it to the garage. Why would we treat differently a difficult personal problem that might end up with far reaching, possible disastrous consequences?
Sometimes, particularly with relationships, there is a legal side to the problem. In that case, you might do well to take some legal advice. Don’t overlook the fact that solicitors nowadays are very experienced in most “lifestyle” problems. You will not be alone. We have an expert team of family law specialists: they have seen most situations before.
Solicitors are not as expensive as you may think and in some cases, legal aid is available. We will always tell you right from the start what the financial implications are and will give you an initial free interview to assess whether you are eligible for legal aid. And so, as we go into the new year, if things seem not right in your life and you have been worried about them for some time, let your new year resolution be “I am going to do something about it in 2015”.